The Ego – Trying to make the impermanent, permanent.
Oh how I wish I could just wake up feeling vibrant, know what to eat without question, eat the perfect amount when I am truly experiencing real hunger and NEVER over eat, eat simply, eat exactly what I think I SHOULD eat to look and feel my best (even if I am proved wrong in the future!!!) and not have any odd health issues. No candida, no mysterious bloating and babies growing inside of my tummy, no migraines or headaches, no odd aches and pains, no irritability and internal wars, no ugly zits popping up, no weird fungus infections on my fingers, no water retention. No turning into a brat and becoming my own worst enemy... none of this! Oh wow! Life would be so much easier! Or would it just be boring? Would I not know what to do with my time if I was not thinking about this, thinking about that, planning my daily diet, thinking about the next meal, questioning why I feel funny and therefore questioning everything once again?
The human mind! The biggest cause of our suffering – the illusion that we live in that there really is a me, a mine, a you, a yours. The Ego needs this illusion to exists, to feel that we really are someone important. Feeling that we have an important mission, we have an impermanent body that is more important than the other person’s impermanent body... We are continuously feeding this illusion of separation when we are really all just one interconnected source of energy. I have spend so many years attached to this pain body which gave me a sense of identity, made people worry about me, gave me attention(although negative). Am I just cooked and need to get over myself?! Maybe my dad was right and I just make my life difficult? Maybe I should just eat whatever one else eats and I would be happy and healthy? OH if life was that simple! Maybe it has nothing to do with the question I keep asking... So what do I eat?